October 27

Life doesn't have to be a strain or a struggle.

-Marion Anderson

Sometimes we make life very difficult for ourselves. We have a great ability to create our own stress. We may refuse to see the good in anything or anyone. We sometimes refuse to count our blessing and complain about lack. We will criticize, judge or blame others because we forget when our choices were not wise. What we don't seem to realize is that when we voice words of struggle and strife we draw more of it into our experience. We create our own well-being according to the way we conduct our mind, mouth and heart. When we expect the best, we get it. When we speak of good, we see it. When we cleanse our hearts of fear, anger and strife, we we place ourselves on a higher vibration. If we choose to struggle with isusses of life, they will be very willing to fight us.

I Am going to create a great day.

Statement for July 23

Two men in a burning house must not stop to argue.

-Ashanti proverb



It is not your duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. The nature of their thinking is advanced or limited by their experience. In your presence, they have an opportunity to learn about you and, perhaps, to grow. Allow them to experience as a well-grounded, compassionate being who is capable of listening, learning, sharing and growing. That is your responsibility to yourself, your life and the other person. You can be an example of the peaceful, vibrant, valuable contributor your ancestors were. Like them, you can contribute to the enlightenment of the world when you spend less time worrying about what others think and more time creating positive changes.


Every experience is an opportunity to grow

Statement for July 22

It goes without saying that your friends are usually the first to discuss your personal business behind your back.

-Terry McMillan, from Mama



If there is anything you don't want people to know about you, don't tell anyone. We give people too much responsibility when we entrust them with our business. Sometimes they repeat the information mindlessly; other times they use our story to make a point. We should only tell our problems to people who can help. Eighty percent of the people can't help us; the other 20 percent really don't care. We are quick to accuse our friends of betraying us, but do we consider how we betray ourselves? We lie to ourselves and on ourselves and then allow ourselves to believe it will not come back. It does, through the mouth and actions of someone else. In those special times when you must talk about your private affairs, ask the other person if he is willing to keep your confidence. If he repeats it, then the responsibility is his-not for telling your business, but for not keeping his word.


I will only tell you what I want everybody to know.

Statement for July 21

No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.

-Alice Walker



Have you ever wonder why people hide their dirty laundry in the closet of your mind? Somewhere deep inside, you may feel honored when you are entrusted with another's downside. What you fail to realize is that knowledge creates responsibility. When you are asked to remain silent about the secret or hidden acts of another, you are lured into collusion. If people demand your loyalty, presence or participation in that which is detrimental to them, you create a detriment for yourself. When you abandon your dreams, swallow your truth, give the will of others precedence over your own, you sell yourself out. Be aware of the person who asks you "not to tell anyone" the thing they cannot keep to themselves. Be responsible to yourself and let them know.


You are talking to the wrong person

Statement for July 20

Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you; hungry before you; frightened before you; beaten before you; raped before you; yet, someone survived.

-Maya Angelou



What do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain? They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. It may get to the point that they become so entrenched in their pain that they stop looking for a way out. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is to leave them there. You can point the way out of pain, but you cannot force them to get out. You can support the move beyond their limitations, but you cannot make the move. Movement requires learning from painful experiences by recognizing the role we have played. If we continually tell the story without drawing a conclusion, we become the victims of the drama of the pain.


You can do anything you choose to do.

Statement for July 19

The most frightening part of helping is getting involved.

-Dianne Ridley Roberts


With all that goes on in our daily lives, we may believe we don't have time to get involved with other people and their issues, yet we must. Perhaps we think if we do not see or hear about the problems, they will go away, but they will not. People of colour are a communal people. That means the community is our lifeline. African, Latin, Native American, Asian and Caribbean cultures are cultures of "we" not "I". We cannot consider ourselves free, prosperous, successful or at peace as long as anyone who looks like us suffers. We cannot help everybody, but you can do something. If we each participate in a cause, if we each battle an ill, if we each contribute time or money to someone for something, a great deal could be done. If we each shoulder a bit of the responsibility for us, we can progress faster.


I will do my part for us

Statement for July 18

A lifetime...

Iyanla Vanzant


Lifetime relationships are a bit more difficult to let go of. When a partner, child or spouse is involved, the wounds are very deep. When the end of a lifetime relationship comes, you may feel that you would be better off dead. The pain seems to grow, the memories linger, a part of your life is dying. You relive every painful moment in an attempt to understand. Your job is not to understand. Your job is to accept. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. They are the most difficult lessons to learn, the most painful to accept; yet these are the things you need in order to grow. When you are facing a separation of the end of a lifetime relationship, the key is to find the lesson; love the person anyway; move on and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships.


A new life begins when a part of life ends.

Statement for July 17

A season...
Iyanla Vanzant


When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season. In the same way that leaves must fall from the trees, or the moon becomes full and then disappears, your seasonal relationships will end at the divinely appointed time. When that time comes, there is nothing you can say or do to make it work. There is no one to blame. You cannot fix it. You cannot explain it. The harder you clutch, the worse it will feel. When the end of the season comes in a loving relationship, the only thing for you to do is let go.


For everything there is a season

Statement for July 16

A reason...
Iyanla Vanzant


When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. Next!


When a prayer is answered, there is no need to cry.

Statement for July 15

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
-Michelle Ventor


Wouldn't it be wonderful if our first love could be our one and only love, forever and ever, amen? Well, surely you know by now that life is not like that. People come and go in our lives, taking a little piece of our heart with them. As difficult or painful as it maybe, that is exactly what they should do. We have more than enough love to share and spare, and we should give it freely. When we love for a reason it feels good to give love, because we get what we give. When we have a seasonal love, it is a whirlwind love, preparing us for something better. When those very special people come into our lives, we can and do love them forever. Loving is not what causes our emotional damage, it is the attempt to throw people out of our hearts and minds. When we love reasonably for the season we are in, we will undoubtedly enjoy a lifetime of loving.


I know why you are in my life and I love you for that reason